I died in September
cried myself to sleep and drown in a river of
blood
is this what hell looks like? 
sad       quiet      haunting

red

it took me two months to swallow the river
(product of my sorrow)

I went home Thanksgiving a new man
and daddy asks
“why do you dress like a vampire?”

he’s on to me

the next twenty days I fantasized revenge
I read    I practiced
I wrote:
“How to Swallow a Man After He’s Broken Your Heart”

I died in the process

I went home Christmas a dead man       full        
and daddy asks
“whose funeral you going to?”

mine

I buried my body at the bottom of my stomach
I killed the butterflies
I swallowed a photograph of the self I were
I planted flowers in my liver
and poured 40s atop my casket till my stomach                     
                bleed