i decide to get out of bed in the morning after snoozing my alarm 13 times / even though i question the point of going / to work anymore / when everyone is going to complain anyway / because it’s too cloudy / out and summer is supposed to be / sunny and / no one cares that clouds are trying to help me maintain polish / wipe my eyes / and / no one cares that i even got out of bed at all / to signal day / for an audience / ungrateful / i want to lay in bed all day and change my name to Glitter or Gay or both / paint my nails / and / maybe watch Black Mirror / and eat / all damn day / because my mother thinks i look especially thin these days / but she don’t know / and i can’t / watch Black Mirror alone / and my bed gets too hot for company / and i don’t know what to eat / neighbors are knocking on my door asking where / i be / throwing rocks at my window / my voicemail is full / storage space too / every selfie is either a white or black screen / every bit of bad news is either a white or black screen / fuzzy / people say i am obsessed with myself / well / no one else is / i feel responsible / for everything / no one taught me to be healthy / i am not healthy / my daddy cries / momma too / i work too much / don’t get paid enough / my lover don’t say i love you enough but he wants to / i think / no one prays to me anymore / my hair keeps growing / into knots / my hair is a mess / solitude don’t be an option / saffron be the only option even when i feel blue / night time be a stranger / i don’t know her / my body eats itself when it hungers / life is one long ass hot day and the a.c. is too expensive / my feet hurt and my pedicure got ruined on the way to work / people think i sit in the sky on purpose / a daily leap from the roof looks like a blessing to some but it is a curse / sometimes i hate the sky and looking at the ground / and some people / but / i still / have to get out of bed / fake a smile / and / shine on these hoes