Poetry
"....every selfie is either a white or black screen / every bit of bad news is either a white or black screen / fuzzy / people say i am obsessed with myself / well / no one else is / i feel responsible / for everything / no one taught me to be healthy / i am not healthy..."
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his 13 year old body
told him to stop eating
sweets and fried food
his 14 year old body
told him to run so
he runs and runs and runs and r u n s
internet boys
told him he shouldn't pudge
when he sits down
his head
told his stomach
to shut the fuck up
how dare you
tell me i ain’t the sun when
you ain’t ever been so warm
the Gay that glitter my footsteps
be loud
be heavy
be jaunty
be immortal
be everything you never wanted Him to
be
better get used to Him
before my Gay be flamboyanced
before the Gay under my step cause earthquakes
opening fissures that seep glitter and purple syrup deep
I died in September
cried myself to sleep and drown in a river of
blood
is this what hell looks like?
sad quiet haunting
red
it took me two months to swallow the river
(product of my sorrow)
I went home Thanksgiving a new man
and daddy asks
“why do you dress like a vampire?”
he’s on to me
the next twenty days I fantasized revenge
I read I practiced
I wrote:
“How to Swallow a Man After He’s Broken Your Heart”
I died in the process
I went home Christmas a dead man full
and daddy asks
“whose funeral you going to?”
mine
I buried my body at the bottom of my stomach
I killed the butterflies
I swallowed a photograph of the self I were
I planted flowers in my liver
and poured 40s atop my casket till my stomach
bleed