I've been feeling kinda stressed lately and I need to release so I hope you don't mind if I get a little personal for minute.

I live a pretty chaotic lifestyle and in a sense I like it that way. At the same time, however, I like to have everything under control. As I sit with my feet kicked up on my office desktop watching the credits roll from last night's episode of Saturday Night Live...I am realizing just how silly this sounds. How could I expect to have control over such a hectic life?

I think of this kind of like art, or photography. Some artists like to approach their work with a minimalist's eye. Keeping essential parts and omitting anything extra. With this approach, they come up with a clean, crisp result that is easy on eyes. Just the same, there are people who like to keep a minimalist lifestyle. Keeping focused on a certain goal, executing it effortlessly and moving onto the next. Making it all look so easy, you know?

I am not one of those people.

Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - ASOS (asos.com) | Pants - H&M (hm.com) - Photo shot by India Pringle (@fathomsome) and retouched by me.

Michelle (mjustiniani.com): Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - American Apparel (americanapparel.net) | Pants - BDG (urbanoutfitters.com) Photo shot and retouched by me.

Michelle (mjustiniani.com): Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - American Apparel (americanapparel.net) | Pants - BDG (urbanoutfitters.com)  -- Me: Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - ASOS (asos.com) | Pants - H&M (hm.com) - Photo shot and… — Michelle (mjustiniani.com): Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - American Apparel (americanapparel.net) | Pants - BDG (urbanoutfitters.com) -- Me: Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - ASOS (asos.com) | Pants - H&M (hm.com) - Photo shot and retouched by me.

Shoes - Nike Huarache (nike.com) - Photo shot by Michelle Carr (mjustiniani.com) and retouched by me.

Shoes - Nike Air Max 90 (finishline.com) - Photo shot and retouched by me.

For reasons that I cannot help, I am drawn to this chaos and disorder. I want to do well and school and work at the same time. I want to eat healthy, work out and have a nice body and clear skin. I want to see my friends, go out and have a good time. I want to have a healthy love life and I want to watch my shows. I want to pay my bills and I want to shop. I want to take naps in the middle of the day and I want to take a shower when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I want to take every freelance job I get offered and I want to work on all my personal projects too. I want to book an internship and

As foolish as it seems, I want all of this simultaneously. And right now...you know? So what do I do?

Kimono - Boohoo (boohoo.com) | Top - ASOS (asos.com) | Pants - H&M (hm.com) - Photo shot by Michelle Carr (mjustiniani.com) and retouched by me.

No, I am not a minimalist. Not in any way, shape or form. But who says I can't adopt a little bit of simplicity into my world of chaos to calm things down?

Just like art or fashion or photography, right?

After talking to my parents, having a brief breakdown and reading a few buzzfeed-like articles online, I decided that I need to find some balance. I figure we are allowed to have chaos in our lives...to a certain degree. With a good foundation, tough skin, a little support and some good ass time management skills, this chaos can be managed.

I'm not sure if any of you are like me...but I really take pride on being able to do things on my own. It's hard for me to ask for help but sometimes you sort of have to. There are people who want to help you and be there for you and I think a big part of being successful in anything is welcoming some sort of help. I promise it doesn't make you helpless.

Shout outs to my friends India Pringle (@fathomsome) and Michelle Carr (mjustiniani.com) for hanging out with me on Easter Day and shooting these pictures. Both very talented sweet girls please check them out!

Stay tuned and stay lit while I figure out how to pull this all off. Please share and subscribe!

- Lackwhen.

December 13, 2017

In Conversation: Sabrina Cates on Thrifting, Social Media, and Freedom

Sabrina Cates,

born and raised in New Orleans, is fly as hell and giving me a read on purpose and freedom. We heard of one another through word of mouth and met via Instagram. What started as polite exchange of compliments turned into a discussion about leaving corporate America to build on our dreams, brands and our own businesses. That, is why I chose to sit down with this wonderful woman. Sabrina is a gorgeous, compassionate, light of a human being who finds value in doing what she wants to do, be that blowing bubbles, case managing or channeling her mother at the thrift store.

My conversation with Sabrina will be the first in a series of conversations and interviews with creative, inspiring folks around New York and beyond. In wanting to learn more about relationships, imagination and the world, I also want to give these people a chance to tell their stories in hopes that they’ll reach and touch some of you. I want to expose us all to the way some of us are living out their imaginations and the ways they are trying to love, move, work and what they really think about the world.

December 8, 2017

26: i hate getting my picture taken or why won't you take my picture

black boy takes pictures
of himself to feel
pretty hard out here for a nigga
when he wants to be
the one you all come home to
but the house empty floors dusty
used rent money to get my hair braided
just tryna feel different
and it's a look but it's not
not really it’s hard tryna be
in front and behind a camera
and not feel seen in either
position

December 6, 2017

25: on the sun's day off

"....every selfie is either a white or black screen / every bit of bad news is either a white or black screen / fuzzy / people say i am obsessed with myself / well / no one else is / i feel responsible / for everything / no one taught me to be healthy / i am not healthy..."